If a Car Was My Dad

You wake up in the morning and walk down the stairs to a bowl of cereal waiting for you in the kitchen. Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you take it out to see its a link to a news reporter fail video. From the other side of the house you hear a belting laugh coming from the bathroom. Out from the the kings throne room comes a man with a beard and smile on his face. This man walks over to you and proceeds to slap you on the back and says “Don’t tell your Mother but I just got Mad Max on Blu-Ray. If she asks, you bought it.” This man is none the less, your father. If your father is anything like mine, he is your best friend. Someone that is there for you despite whatever idiotic situation you might be in (hand break drifting into a snow bank). My Dad does not share the same love for cars as I do, despite him being the Creative Director for a car dealership, but he understands it. He supports me in all my ventures and will without fail make me smile. Where am I going with this? I thought I would try to compare two of my favorite things in my life, cars and my Dad. So, it begs the question, out of all the cars in the world, what car would my Dad be?

Chevrolet_Corvette_C6 Yellow

I thought this task would’ve be easier than it was. Most of you would probably expect a Corvette or Mustang but those are too obvious of choices, the clear cut Dad car. Of course, if my Dad went out and bought whatever car he wanted right now he would most likely return with a yellow C6 Corvette but that’s not the point! The task is to find what car totally embodies a father, not exactly what he would buy. It is what car matches his personality, looks, humor, love, and all around Dad vibe. Thus, after much consideration, it had to be the Ford Bronco. Now I bet all of you are now saying, “Ahhh, he’s totally right.” and here is why.

Ford Bronco Dad

Ford’s bucking Bronco takes the cake for quite obvious reasons. A big, brawny, yet hilariously fun and cool car. The car you could count on to dig you out of the worst of situations and put a smile on your face as you drive it back home. It is like Ford took a Dad and somehow transformed it into a Sport Utility Vehicle. It has the same stature as would a Dad on wheels. It even had an Eddie Bauer interior option! Don’t try to tell me that doesn’t scream Dad. Lets dive into it a little more and compare the two with a little more scrutiny.

1984 Ford Bronco Ford Bronco versus Dad

  • Bronco Body Style = Barrel Chested 50 year old man.
  • Bronco Power Plant = The Dad strength phenomenon.
  • Bronco Interior = Your Dads leather Eddie Bauer Jacket.
  • Bronco Exhaust Note = The epitome of Dad level fart jokes.
  • Bronco Reliability = You get too drunk at a party and your Dad roles out of bed at 3:00 A.M. to come pick you up.
  • Bronco Heritage = Your Dad also grew up in the 70’s.

The next time your father sends you a link to the Rolling Stones on the Ed Sullivan show make sure to cherish that moment the same you would thrashing a 1984 Ford Bronco in the middle of the woods somewhere. They are basically synonymous. In conclusion, to all the Dads out there, be proud of who you are and what you have done for your kids. They will forever look up to you and all your quirks that shaped them to who they are today, as if they grew up with a Ford Bronco sitting in the kitchen every morning making them cereal and eggs.

Thank you Scott Triffle for the Comic

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